In memory of Rhonda Granger (7/15/66 - 2/5/13)
Credentialed specialists in political cosmology and government-approved astrophysics are grappling with a mind-bending possibility: what if there is some force other than government power that is responsible for the world in which we live?
This unexpected schism is caused by recent experiments at the Large Handout Deficit Collider, in which generated sequester particles did not cause the universe to implode as predicted.
The original plan called for shooting highly charged irresistable Keynsian public stimulus forces at immovable wealthy private capital objects, in the hope of creating enough monetary fusion products to keep the economy's momentum from decelerating for another summer.
Theoreticians believed if the deficit could not reach sanity escape velocity, huge numbers of sequester particles would be released, which would generate financial black holes and quickly envelop all observable too-big-to-fail banks, eventually compressing the entire world economy into a space smaller than Joe Biden's brain.
However, instead of causing fiscal black holes or any other observable damage, the created sequester particles quickly vanished without a trace - just like a California state budget surplus crapon, a hypothetical particle which has never been observed in nature.
Such an outcome seems even more counter-intuitive than Einstein's famous Theory of Relatives, for it suggests the existence of a force much stronger than government spending ions inside the economic nucleus - and that this unidentified force is, in fact, what's holding all fiscal matter in the universe together.
These unforeseen results have left experts grasping for alternative explanations.
The People's Cube